Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
zippers are such a cool invention
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
