im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
