We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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