I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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