OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
