is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
