It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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