I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
