if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
