Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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