He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Damn victory sex feels great
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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