just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize