But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
