Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
