She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
