He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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