That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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