there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
