Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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