You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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