I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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