There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
