just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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