just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
