We're facebook friends in real life
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
