if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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