i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
