South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm like, not good at living.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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