You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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