she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
