we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The air was thick with penises
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize