Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
