NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
