Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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