just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize