i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
