i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
