Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize