Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I want her autograph on my taint
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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