$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
