I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
