Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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