need another drink. this is the easiest way
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
