We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
