You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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