No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize