forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
