I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize