Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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