Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
