i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
