Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
