i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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