I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
