You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
