apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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