The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
