I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
