Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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