i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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