At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
