Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
