Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You were trust falling into bushes
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
