I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
