absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
