I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
