I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
