You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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