I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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