If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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