How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
