i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i believe in u and ur pee
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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