i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
